BUMBLEBEE

A silly little grease monkey doing silly little grease monkey things.

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Howdy, reader!

It is nearly spring, nearly riding season.

I am standing in a drafty garage that belongs to a friend, staring at a 1995 Harley-Davidson Sportster that belongs to me. She is black with yellow accents so, naturally, I call her Bumblebee. My plan for this evening is to get Bumblebee road-ready. In other words, I am giving Bumblebee an oil change.

I roll up the sleeves of my red Carhartt hoodie stained heavily with grease from past tinkerings and squat down so that I am eye level with the oil cap. I remove it, allowing air to flow into the engine in hopes of facilitating the draining process. Afterward, I insert the key into the ignition and start her up.

The roar Bumblebee lets out when she awakens from her winter-long slumber fills me with both adrenaline and poetry; a welcome reminder that it is nearly spring, nearly riding season. Thank God.

I allow Bumblebee’s engine to run for a few minutes—warming the oil up a bit—before getting started. Then, with the engine switched off and a Johnny Cash song playing loudly from a bluetooth speaker perched on my friend’s workbench to my right, I begin.

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I say the steps out loud as I work on completing them.

Step One: Place a plastic container underneath the drain plug to catch and collect the old oil. Place a rag underneath the plastic container to catch and collect any oil splashes.

I sing along to the lyrics of Johnny Cash’s “Man in Black.” An old yet presently relevant song.

Step Two: Remove the drain bolt and watch the old oil flow out like a thin, black waterfall. Avoid getting aforementioned oil splashes on myself.

The birds outside are singing along, too. Mr. Cash would be thrilled.

Step Three: Once the old oil is completely drained, remove the old oil filter and replace it with a new one. Do the same with the crush washer.

I plan on calling my mom after this. I miss the comforting sound of her voice; a voice that sounds like a nearing spring.

Step Four: Reinstall the drain bolt and ensure that it is on tightly, but not too tight.

I grab a tin of cinnamon flavored Altoids from the back pocket of my Wrangler jeans and pop one in my mouth. I let the little red mint melt on my tongue.

Step Five: Remove the oil fill plug and use a funnel to add fresh oil to the engine through the oil fill port. Once adequately full, reinstall the oil fill plug.

I could eat a whole tin of these mints. I just might after I give my mom a call.

Step Six: Clean any residual oil off of the motor, wipe any off of my hands, and pat myself on the back for a job well done.

I stand back up and stretch my legs. With my hands on my hips and a smile on my face, I admire the beauty of the now road-ready motorcycle in front of me. Speaking of beautiful things, it is time to call my mom.

Until next time,

Crybaby Cowgirl (my pals call me Ash)

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